A Letter fo Myself

Years ago, during my emotional ping pong times…. I wrote a letter for myself’

Dear Coach,
Now you’re beginning to understand life less and less everyday. When you were young, you use to believe that you had actually had the world all figured out, but now, as you grow, you know that having the world all figured out is virtually impossible because you now realize that you will never understand even the simplest things that life has to offer, like why people love who they love, and why people fight with the ones they love the most. People use to tell you that you were going to go places, that you were the one that actually going to be somebody … that somebody never were, that somebody they long for you to be, and that somebody you have always dreamed of becoming, not just to satisfy yourself but also to satisfy your family and those people around you. Now it is as if your life has taken a 360 degree turn around the sharpest corner of life. You are so confused on everything. You are now beginning to question all of your goals and aspirations in life that you had once set for yourself. Life is getting too complicated for you, you are at the point where you are just living day by day, completely careless to those around you. You feel as if you don’t have friends, and a family that cares for you, you feel more alone than you ever have before. You just have this emptiness inside of you, and you don’t know how to fill it. You say that you’re in love, but who really knows what love is? Well I guess you’re just another crazy girl, taking one long ride on the Roller Coaster of life. Where and when will this roller coaster stop? Nobody knows, not even yourself, all you know is you are ready to get off now. Some days you just wish that you could be totally oblivious to the world and other days you long for people to be around you. You have stopped living by what other people think of you and you have started living how you want to live. You no longer act like the person you are not, you show your true colors and many do not like them. Maybe that is why you are so confused … you don’t know who to satisfy, yourself or the people that care about you. I don’t think that you will ever understand this roller coaster and why you were chosen to take this ride, right now you don’t know if it will ever even come to a complete stop, but until it does I guess you will just keep feeling this way inside.

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